3 Tips For A Spicier Sex Life In 2019 January 13, 2019

Let’s not forget that sex statistically helps you sleep well, relieve stress, burns calories, improves healthy skin, increases immunity, and a long list of other great benefits. And remember-- this isn’t just from skin-to-skin, but pleasure. Here are 3 tips that can help you improve your sexual health this year!

Ask a Sexpert With King Noire - Fetish Trainer and Adult Entertainer February 05, 2016

In this week's Ask A Sexpert, we interviewed King Noire, an expert fetishist, intimacy coach, Erotic Touch Masseuse and porn star about the importance of his work and why he believes in breaking antiquated sexual taboos. We love getting a male perspective. 

Plume: What sexual taboo would you like to see broken or lifted?

King Noire: All of them!!!  As long as it is between consenting adults and doesn't involve children, animals or unwilling participants it should not be viewed as taboo. What turns us on as individuals is as broad and diverse as the people doing and getting turned on by all of these wonderful things. That being said my turn on, fetish or kink does not have to be yours or yours mine. In order for taboos to be broken or lifted as a whole people have to collectively not want to force their views on sex & sexuality on others or judge those who are different. All taboos should be smashed and broken so we can be free to explore healthy sex lives. Healthy sex lives lead to healthy lives in general.                                                               

Plume: How do you define pleasure?  

KN: Pleasure for me comes from many different places. Sexually nothing pleases me more than pleasing others. It's part of what led me to the work I do. When I have a client tell me that we have found a new spot on her body that she never knew of before it gives me deep pleasure to where I feel it in my body. Or when we do work with a couple and the hit us back months later and say they are expecting a child and it has a part due to our intimacy coaching or fetish training. I also derive pleasure from taking control of my partner or subs body and pushing the limits beyond what they thought they were capable of orgasmically. I'm an exhibitionist so being on film, in pictures and being watched not only turns me on but heightens my orgasms. The physical pleasure is only a part of the whole. True pleasure is beyond just physical.                                                                                                                    

Plume: How do you define self-love and what do you do to provide self-love for yourself?

KN: Self love starts with acceptance. Acceptance of who we are for both our triumphs and failures as well as our commendable traits and flaws. I am still actively working on loving myself better. As with all forms of love it takes constant work. I provide it in exercising, eating clean as possible and I'm working on setting aside time to decompress. As we get better at loving ourselves we in turn become better lovers to our partners.
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Ask (ME) The Sexpert, Lidia Bonilla - Chief Provocateur January 29, 2016

This week my team voted me the resident sexpert. Here's why I do what I do with Plume! 

What sexual taboo would you like to see broken or lifted?

The assumption that if you talk about pleasure, sex toys or masturbation, you must be a freak. I want to disconnect the term ‘freak’ from sex.  

How do you define pleasure?  

What feels good. Children and animals don’t make this deep. It feels good, do it. If doesn’t, then don’t.

How do you define self-love and what do you do to provide self-love for yourself?

Self love is an action and not a concept. I provide self love anytime I do something for myself, not because I earned or deserved it. Just because I am. I practice self love when I get a massage because my body is sore, when I masturbate because I feel like it. Self love is walking out on bad dates. Self love is creating your dreams.

Ask a Sexpert, Featuring Sex Educator Ericka Hart January 22, 2016

Our fabulous sexpert of the week, Ericka Hart, youth sex educator and all-around powerful lady answers our questions about all things pleasurable!

Plume: As a sex educator, how soon do you think young people should be having conversations about sex?

EH: As early as they can speak. Children need to understand their bodies. "Head, shoulders, knees, and toes" is taught to two year olds. What if we said- "breasts, vagina, butt" too? We make sex/sexuality an adult thing and it's not. It's a part of us in the womb. These conversations need to be had to combat the idea that sex is wrong or secret. Having this conversation out in the open allows for more conversations and less discomfort. What sexual taboo would you like to see broken or lifted? I'm not sure if this is a taboo or more of a stigma, but I would love to see people stop shaming people for having STDs/STIs. Just about everyone has them. You will be ok. It's not the end of the world. You are not dirty if you have one. You can still have amazing sex with one or many.

Plume: How do you define pleasure?

EH: I define pleasure as something that makes you insanely happy but leans more on the arousal side of happy. How do you define self-love and what do you do to provide self-love for yourself? I define self love as feeding yourself power. An act that empowers you to conquer each day. I love singing and selfies! Great acts of self love!

Ask a Sexpert, Featuring Ms. Lana (If Your Nasty) January 17, 2016

Let's all join hands in welcoming one of our resident sexperts, Ms. Lana! Hailing from the island of Kingston, Jamaica and an NYC resident, Lana is a proud 69-year old retired registered nurse (“I should have gotten my masters in Sexology”) and self-proclaimed sexpert. She joins House of Plume in relishing in all things pleasurable and answers our question, what do you think women need to know about sexual pleasure?

Ms. Lana: For years women have been faking it. You can't fake it. Sometimes you need to tell men where they need to go. Sometimes you need to talk! I had no problem telling men where to go, I have to get mine too! My thing is that if I'm going to spend the time with you, then you need to make it worth my while.

I was a late bloomer and when I got started, I was a lioness. I came into my own. My first experience was with an older guy and he didn’t know what he was doing and I thought he did. It’s not what you have, it’s how you use it. I know this guy who had the longest penis I had ever seen, my ex-husband’s was shorter but it was fat and we had some good times. Then I had a Jewish guy who had a big one and knew how to use it. When you go out for a meal you talk about what kind of food you like and all those types of things, but people don't talk about sex and what they like - and this is so important. How is anyone going to know what you like if you don’t tell them or show them? You can always learn something from someone else. I had a friend who told me she always feels like she is peeing on herself when she is having sex and I said well then – that means you are having good sex!

Listen, I am here for the pleasures of life. I am a proud hedonist. I eat well, I drink well, I buy what I like. Otherwise, what’s the point?