In this week's Ask A Sexpert, we interviewed King Noire, an expert fetishist, intimacy coach, Erotic Touch Masseuse and porn star about the importance of his work and why he believes in breaking antiquated sexual taboos. We love getting a male perspective.
Plume: What sexual taboo would you like to see broken or lifted?
King Noire: All of them!!! As long as it is between consenting adults and doesn't involve children, animals or unwilling participants it should not be viewed as taboo. What turns us on as individuals is as broad and diverse as the people doing and getting turned on by all of these wonderful things. That being said my turn on, fetish or kink does not have to be yours or yours mine. In order for taboos to be broken or lifted as a whole people have to collectively not want to force their views on sex & sexuality on others or judge those who are different. All taboos should be smashed and broken so we can be free to explore healthy sex lives. Healthy sex lives lead to healthy lives in general.
Plume: How do you define pleasure?
KN: Pleasure for me comes from many different places. Sexually nothing pleases me more than pleasing others. It's part of what led me to the work I do. When I have a client tell me that we have found a new spot on her body that she never knew of before it gives me deep pleasure to where I feel it in my body. Or when we do work with a couple and the hit us back months later and say they are expecting a child and it has a part due to our intimacy coaching or fetish training. I also derive pleasure from taking control of my partner or subs body and pushing the limits beyond what they thought they were capable of orgasmically. I'm an exhibitionist so being on film, in pictures and being watched not only turns me on but heightens my orgasms. The physical pleasure is only a part of the whole. True pleasure is beyond just physical.
Plume: How do you define self-love and what do you do to provide self-love for yourself?
KN: Self love starts with acceptance. Acceptance of who we are for both our triumphs and failures as well as our commendable traits and flaws. I am still actively working on loving myself better. As with all forms of love it takes constant work. I provide it in exercising, eating clean as possible and I'm working on setting aside time to decompress. As we get better at loving ourselves we in turn become better lovers to our partners.
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This week my team voted me the resident sexpert. Here's why I do what I do with Plume!
What sexual taboo would you like to see broken or lifted?
The assumption that if you talk about pleasure, sex toys or masturbation, you must be a freak. I want to disconnect the term ‘freak’ from sex.
How do you define pleasure?
What feels good. Children and animals don’t make this deep. It feels good, do it. If doesn’t, then don’t.
How do you define self-love and what do you do to provide self-love for yourself?
Self love is an action and not a concept. I provide self love anytime I do something for myself, not because I earned or deserved it. Just because I am. I practice self love when I get a massage because my body is sore, when I masturbate because I feel like it. Self love is walking out on bad dates. Self love is creating your dreams.